This reflection, from Angie Jordan of Iowa City, delves into the role of self-discovery in Strategic Doing. Angie finds herself on the “exploratory” end of the S-Curve that we discuss in practitioner training; as part of the Certified Workshop Leader course, participants submit on how they play a part of a cognitively diverse team.
Personally, it is always refreshing and comforting to not feel alone, to witness and realize I am part of something bigger than myself. The times I feel most challenged isn’t in the “work” I do, but in the counter balance of life–family, friends, “down” time. When I think of who I am and my exploratory nature, I can think of why at certain times in my life I have been miserable and it’s typically because I am not able, allowed or given permission to be myself. Sometimes this is due to the duties and responsibilities of commitments I have made, other times it is simply because of systemic oppression of what I look like or how I am categorized/labeled.
The grey, unknown spaces have always felt safe to me. Sometimes it’s because I know no one can hurt me there because most people are afraid to even THINK about venturing that far out. There I am free to explore, challenge and grow at my own pace and within my own time frame without self judgment or comparison to the majority or the “norm”.
People will either not get me and feel uncomfortable, dismissive, or defensive. Other times they admit they can’t relate or do what I do and then go on to call me courageous, generous, brave, kind, optimistic, resourceful, creative, persistent, etc. I often feel othered and uncomfortable because I’m not aspiring to those things (e.g. power, territory, glory, etc.) for personal gain, they’re simply are where I “live” and who I am. I don’t have a choice to disengage my explorative nature. Sometimes I wish I did as the chaos can be overwhelming; however, it’s within that chaos that I am most safe and most myself. Additionally, the times I’ve denied my nature mistakes get made, depression sets in, and/or I feel I am living a lie. Living my truth is often lonely and not in a unique, “special”, “Hip-Hip-Hooray” kind of way. But, when others wander or intentionally enter that same space with me, it’s so incredible and I feel grounded and supported and THEN I feel my exploratory nature turn on more so because I feel safe.
Strategic Doing allows for me to not only enter into new spaces with others doing the same thing, it also allows for those “spaces” to expand, exist and be more easily accessible to where I don’t have to “go” anywhere to feel like I belong. With more people practicing SD I can be who I am, safely, in more aspects of my world in general.
Start your own self-discovery journey by joining us at an upcoming training session.